[DAY 5] Understanding behavior + making requests your kids will hear.
Today is DAY 5, and we have a short audio to help you apply today's topic in real-life situations.
If you have more than one child OR one of those kids who gets aggressive or DOESN'T want to talk about their feelings - this one's definitely for you!
Now that you have some basic principles and tools under your belt, let's start exploring our inner world more deeply.
What's REALLY going on underneath behavior?
Have you noticed that we tend to lose our tempers or rely on control and force when our self-care is lacking?
Until we learn to properly care for ourselves - possibly in ways that NO ONE else has ever done before - we will likely continue to see our children's age-typical behavior as unwarranted.
So ask yourself - do my unmet needs cloud my perceptions and thinking?
If so, you might demand that your kids do all the changing in an attempt to meet those needs.
This is when we say things like, "Do not make me angry!" or "You need to stop. I've told you this already!"
And we do it from an uncompromising position of force or locked into logical debates.
Biggest problem? We're stuck enforcing boundaries without securing an emotional connection first.
ACTIVITY DOWNLOAD
2 support sessions to choose from:
SANDRA'S SESSION
SYNTHIA'S SESSION
DAY 5: Practice identifying feelings and needs. Making requests that invite connection and cooperation begins with finding out what's happening on the inside!
Right-click to download and save the DAY 5 Worksheet to your computer
Being emotionally available for our kids means we have to honor our own feelings and needs.
The inner experience drives the outer expression.
Asking for what we want by sharing our needs is important. Doing it without making it the other person's fault or their responsibility to meet those needs for us - is life-changing.
Willing cooperation comes when we invite kids to share and contribute rather than begging, pleading, nagging, or demanding.
Be kind to yourself as you practice coaching your kids through their upset and anger.
You are making gradual changes in how you think and respond - building your tolerance so you can start to focus on helping your children through their challenges.
When you're not afraid of their "big feelings," it's easier to help them through it.
After listening to the audio session and completing the exercises, choose one of our support sessions with Sandra or Synthia and join in the conversation.
See you tomorrow for Day 6!
Talk soon,
Lori
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