The Four Styles of Parenting

Dismissing Parent-Disapproving Parent
Permissive Parent-Conscious Parent

THE DISAPPROVING PARENT

CHARACTERISTICS

displays many of the Dismissing Parent's behaviors but in a more negative way
judges and criticizes the child's emotional expression
is over-aware of the need to set limits on their children
emphasizes conformity to good standards or behavior
reprimands, disciplines, or punishes the child for emotionalm expression whether the child is misbehaving or not
believes the expression of negative emotions should be time-limited
believes negative emotions reflect bad character traits
believes the child uses negative emotions to manipulate, this belief results in power struggles
believes negative emotions need to be controlled
believes emotions make people weak; children must be emotionally tough for survival
believes negative emotions are unproductive, a waste of time
sees negative emotions (especially sadness) as a commodity that should not be squandered
is concerned with the child's obedience to authority

EFFECTS

The effects are the same as the Dismissing Parent, children learn that their feelings are wrong, inappropriate or invalid. They may learn that there is something inherently wrong with them because of the way they feel. A child cannot understand why the emotions that he is feeling are not recognized by the parent as valid. A child may have difficulty regulating her own emotions and the emotional connection with the parent is lost in favor of behavior control. Children may also be confused by the mixed messages of punishment and/or praise.

A Self-Test: What Style of Parent Are You?
The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

The Disapproving Parent: Return to What's My Parenting Style Score
The Disapproving Parent: Return to Home